I’m Normal… Really I am!

Written by Aubrie Williams

They say that every young girl will go through an awkward stage at some time in her life; usually around the time she becomes a teenager. But “stages” by their very definition are just supposed to be a short period of time, right? Honestly, when I was in high school, I wondered if I would ever graduate from the seemingly never ending “awkward stage.” It was during this unfortunate time of my young life that my story takes place.

I must give you a little background on my family for you to properly understand my situation. In short, they are crazy… yup, that about sums it up. My parents consistently embarrassed me with their outgoing antics and unchecked humor. Of course, everyone else thought they were just fun-loving and friendly… but I knew the truth… they had lost their minds somehow. I didn’t know if it was age or something else, but as a young teenage girl, I was certain it was true. How many other girl’s mothers do you know that have the reputation as “the one that put the rubber-ducky in the church baptistery”?

Do you know of any normal brothers that juggle toilet paper rolls in the middle of the grocery store? Any fathers that will run down the aisle and do a heel kick at Family Camp… in front of everybody!?! See my point?

Anyway, I had determined that I would not conform to their crazy ways. Whether it was their age or a disease of some sort, I wasn’t taking any chances. I purposed in my heart that I was not going to be defiled by the insanity… I was going to be normal! Only in front of my closest friends would I allow myself to let go and really be myself, but in the company of normal, everyday folks, I was bound and determined to “fit in” and be respectable.

Well, it just so happened that shortly after my devout resolution, my parents invited our neighbors over for a fun time of singing and fellowship. It also just so happened that these neighbors (whom shall remain nameless) were also affected with the same malady as my parents (which is what led me to think that their bizarre behavior was some sort of contagious disease). In short, we had a house filled with crazy people… and then there was me, of course.

Mr. Nameless Neighbor Dude had also brought along his mother who was visiting with them for the week. In my “normal” state of mind, I knew that a stranger equals reserved behavior. So there I sat, quietly acting “normal” while my crazy family did their thing. They sang weird songs quite loudly, told their funny stories, and overall embarrassed me in front of this stranger. At the end of the evening, I was quite proud of my behavior and knew that in spite of my environment, I was sure to become a normal, well-rounded individual. My awkward stage was soon to be a thing of the past.

Alas, I found out later that Mr. Nameless Neighbor Dude’s mother asked her son after leaving our home, “That little girl, was she ok?... I mean… was she… mentally handicapped?”

What! She thought I was the crazy one!?!? Was she totally oblivious to the rest of the family’s bizarre behavior? Was she blind?

It was then I realized two things: One, my awkward stage was far from being over… I had a long way to go before I would become who I was truly meant to be: another crazy member of my crazy family. Two, this “craziness” wasn’t a disease… alas… it is unavoidably genetic!